Every year I try to go to at least one totally new meeting. One where I am unlikely to see another Beltway Bandit. One not run by AUSA, or NDIA, or the Army itself.

In 2013, one of those meetings was the first conference held by the Defense Entrepreneurs Forum (DEF) in Chicago. DEF is the brainchild of some then-junior officers, representing all 4 services, who were frustrated by the lack of innovation in their organizations. They came together to brainstorm ideas to different Big Problems. From a single weekend-long event, DEF has expanded to include an active social media presence, day long conferences in different locations called DEF[x]s, and recurring (often monthly) local meetings called DEF Agoras, in addition to our annual (fall) national meeting.

This past weekend was the DEF[x]William & Mary. Held at the Mason School of Business, about 80 people – a combination of military (no uniforms allowed), industry, and students – spent the day taking on some Big Problems. The topic of the day was the Third Offset, but with breakout sessions on Force of the Future, the Human Offset, and Civilian Perspectives as options, and Ori Brafman as a keynote speaker, I was looking forward to a day of thinking about the Human Dimension.

Ori started the day as you would expect him to (if you’ve ever heard him speak to a military audience, anyway). There was a lot about the Spider and the Starfish, and resilient organizations. But then he started talking about the military-civilian divide. Now, that’s not an unusual topic, but it did set the tone, at least for me, for the rest of the day.

In Force of the Future, we wound up in break out groups. Each group formed to discuss military recruiting.  My group – consisting of 4 active duty officers, 2 students, and myself – focused on college students with STEM degrees. Our task was to develop a profile of what a typical person of this description would look like, so we could figure out how to recruit that person. (Two other groups were talking about retaining drone pilots and mid-career accessions of in-demand specialties like cyber.)

We named our recruit Jill Stephanopoulos – mostly to make everyone write the name “Stephanopoulos”. She’s 20 years old, from Virginia, and a mechanical engineering student at W&M (as it turns out, W&M does not have a mechanical engineering department). Why would Jill want to join the military when she had so many other options?

At this point, the group turned to our two college student members. Why would YOU join the Army? Well, the answer was: they wouldn’t.

This was a little shocking to the usually-uniformed members of our group.

But not to me. I’ve had this conversation too many times in the past year to find it at all surprising.

Less than 1% of the US population serves in the military. Less than 7% of the US population has ever served in the military – and that includes veterans from the draft era. What most people in this country know about the military is what they see on television and in movies. Between Wounded Warrior commercials (IMO, possibly the worst thing for the military recruiting top talent); news stories about PTSD, TBI, homelessness among veterans, and the issues with the Veterans Administration; and movies and television shows including all-too-regular stories about soldiers suffering from PTSD, the average American does not have a favorable impression of the military. Not because of the military itself, but because of the results of serving. They just don’t hear – and therefore don’t know – the positive stories.

Both student members of the group agreed that this is, in fact, a big part of their impression.

No wonder it’s difficult to recruit. Not only does the military pay less than engineering firms, for example, but choosing the military, in their minds, is choosing psychological or neurological damage (or both). And not being able to get help. Not a lot of 22 year olds are going to sign up for that, not when they have so many other options.

This discussion continued at lunch, though with a different group – a DoD civilian, an Army officer who is currently in school full time, an Army general officer, two different students (one majoring in Arabic, the other minoring it), and myself.

Until yesterday, the two students didn’t know you could go into the Army and not start in the infantry or armor. They knew about Defense Language Institute, but thought you had to go into the Army and “do Army stuff” first. What changed?

They met actual members of the military and had conversations with them. They heard about the wide variety of jobs the different individuals had. They learned that the military is more than uniforms, and saluting, and guns, and violence. They experienced the passion. They witnessed the pride for the job. And, yes, they also heard the frustrations, but tempered with an understanding that we all choose to continue to do this work. Because of that passion and pride.

The military wants the top students. To get them, they have to acknowledge the civilian-military divide, they have to fix the public impression of the military, and they have to educate civilians on what it really means to be in the military. This requires regular interaction with the public – not just public affairs officers, and not going where contractors will be. It means going out and talking with students – not just to recruit them. It means having actual conversations and exchange of ideas. It will not be easy. And it won’t always seem like ‘the juice is worth the squeeze’.

But recruiting the best not only means being the best, it means making sure everyone else knows you’re the best.

Next week’s post with either be about Data Analytics, Google, Amazon, and Army Recruiting or USMC Force Development 25.

Coming in May 2016: DEF[x]DC, hosted at Georgetown University.